I have to say I get pretty disappointed with the city I live in sometimes.
Sometimes I can on my bike and I give the sign to make a right turn and people ignore me completely. The drivers almost seem to enjoy the fact that I am on a slower machine than their arrogant selves. I really hate it! How do these people think? What motivates them to honk their horn at me? I am not quite sure. Maybe they hate me because they do not believe I should bike on "their" road. Maybe they hate me because I am slow. Perhaps they think I am ugly. Okay they probably do not think I am physical unattractive, but seriously what is going on with their lives? Do they get satisfaction at honking at bikers?
I really sense angry in Memphis. People here seem to really not care about the people they drive, eat, or sleep with. Now I have slighted in this view, but I really wish Memphis was a more friendly place to live. I often grow weary of poor attitudes when I travel around this town. Memphis seem to be a dark place.
Memphis needs some light. My experiences have made me bitter toward Memphis, yet they have motivated me to put more energy into making this city a better place. That is why I will continue to bike around here. That is why I will continue to visit new places and meet new people. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day when I bike.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Friendships
Currently life has been turned upside.
At times in April I was never by myself. In May I spent a lot of time alone. Now the question is what will the month of June be like?
Usually I have been a person of extremes. I have been told many times that I am dramatic, emotional, and feminine. These statements were based off of my inability to hold by tears, sarcastic remarks, and emotional driven life choices. My character has been shaped by my friends and family mostly. I have the ability to connect with people because of my compassion, yet my compassion is my weakness and strength. This is tough for me to understand. I love people, yet I do not love myself. I have compassion for the hurting, but do not take care of my own pain. As I write this I can hear my drama.
I do not know what June will be like. My roommate has left and I will be living by myself for the first time in my life. I am not sure if this will be a good or bad test for me, but it will be a test that I want to take. It could be a great time of reconnecting with myself and my God. I pray that this is the truth.
Whatever you do? Wherever you are? Whoever you are?
Test yourself.
So today and tomorrow I urge you,
To Reflect,
To Hope,
To Be.
At times in April I was never by myself. In May I spent a lot of time alone. Now the question is what will the month of June be like?
Usually I have been a person of extremes. I have been told many times that I am dramatic, emotional, and feminine. These statements were based off of my inability to hold by tears, sarcastic remarks, and emotional driven life choices. My character has been shaped by my friends and family mostly. I have the ability to connect with people because of my compassion, yet my compassion is my weakness and strength. This is tough for me to understand. I love people, yet I do not love myself. I have compassion for the hurting, but do not take care of my own pain. As I write this I can hear my drama.
I do not know what June will be like. My roommate has left and I will be living by myself for the first time in my life. I am not sure if this will be a good or bad test for me, but it will be a test that I want to take. It could be a great time of reconnecting with myself and my God. I pray that this is the truth.
Whatever you do? Wherever you are? Whoever you are?
Test yourself.
So today and tomorrow I urge you,
To Reflect,
To Hope,
To Be.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Cuts
Recently I missed a step and collided with some pavement ground; which, if you have never experienced, hurts.
One of my friends immediately laughed. Another friend said, "Well that is a teachable moment." What is the proper reaction? I am not sure. I did laugh quite a bit, too. Each friend's reaction was appropriate. I definitely learned a lesson; pain teaches. As I observe my lacerations they remind me to be more careful when I walk, bike, and run. Yet, this is not merely a physical lesson.
When I fall it hurts. Sin hurts. Cuts hurt. Blood symbolizes when a vessel is broken. Sin is symbolized by broken relationships. I have taken my falls of late, mostly spiritual ones. I have seen relationships break like glass. It has made me question what sins have occurred? I know I have sins in my life that have hurt relationships.
After I picked myself off the concrete pavement I cleaned myself up. I used soap, water, and bandages. When I sin I also must cleanse myself in confession and change in actions. This has been a trying practice, but a worthy one.
Time heals. My body will heal in time and hopefully my friendships will heal in time.
One of my friends immediately laughed. Another friend said, "Well that is a teachable moment." What is the proper reaction? I am not sure. I did laugh quite a bit, too. Each friend's reaction was appropriate. I definitely learned a lesson; pain teaches. As I observe my lacerations they remind me to be more careful when I walk, bike, and run. Yet, this is not merely a physical lesson.
When I fall it hurts. Sin hurts. Cuts hurt. Blood symbolizes when a vessel is broken. Sin is symbolized by broken relationships. I have taken my falls of late, mostly spiritual ones. I have seen relationships break like glass. It has made me question what sins have occurred? I know I have sins in my life that have hurt relationships.
After I picked myself off the concrete pavement I cleaned myself up. I used soap, water, and bandages. When I sin I also must cleanse myself in confession and change in actions. This has been a trying practice, but a worthy one.
Time heals. My body will heal in time and hopefully my friendships will heal in time.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Favre to Vikings?
"There is no way I will ever come back again," Brett Favre said in an interview on Feb. 13 2009.
Summer time means Favre drama.
The latest report by ESPN states that later this week Brett Favre will meet privately with the Vikings head coach Brad Childress to discuss the possibility of Brett playing for Minnesota in the 2009 season. The two will most likely decide how much participation with be required of Favre in the mini-camps, the status of his hurting throwing arm, how much longer Favre will play in the NFL, and the Brett's motives for returning for another fair well campaign.
Depressed. Angry. Skeptical.
I hate the Vikings and have for years. They are my least favorite team in sports. Forget the Bears, Cowboys, Yankees, and Cubs dynasties I hate the Vikings far worse. Randy Moss once mooned the Packer fans in a playoff game at Lambeau Field. Darren Sharper and Ryan Longwell both play for the hated Vikings. Now Favre going to Minnesota? I am sick.
For some one as loved as Favre he may now go down as the one of the most hated Packers of all time. He certainly will be helping his stats if he goes to Minnesota but apparently loyalty and honestly are not as important to Favre as to me.
Yet, on the flip side I look at the Minnesota team and they will be incredible with Favre and Peterson in the backfield. Plus Favre knows the whole division. Plus the NFC is weak and his chance to going to the Super Bowl is high. In addition, Favre has never had the best running back in league or even close and now he could have that in Peterson. He will also be playing in a dome so the bad weather will not be as big of a factor. Also Vikings have no super bowls victories. Favre could be a huge icon and idol in Minnesota and Wisconsin, only it may take a few years until Wisconsin takes him back.
Overall I do not have much respect for him as a person for his lack of honesty, but I understand he loves football, he wants revenge on the Packers organization, and he wants to win another Super Bowl.
Summer time means Favre drama.
The latest report by ESPN states that later this week Brett Favre will meet privately with the Vikings head coach Brad Childress to discuss the possibility of Brett playing for Minnesota in the 2009 season. The two will most likely decide how much participation with be required of Favre in the mini-camps, the status of his hurting throwing arm, how much longer Favre will play in the NFL, and the Brett's motives for returning for another fair well campaign.
Depressed. Angry. Skeptical.
I hate the Vikings and have for years. They are my least favorite team in sports. Forget the Bears, Cowboys, Yankees, and Cubs dynasties I hate the Vikings far worse. Randy Moss once mooned the Packer fans in a playoff game at Lambeau Field. Darren Sharper and Ryan Longwell both play for the hated Vikings. Now Favre going to Minnesota? I am sick.
For some one as loved as Favre he may now go down as the one of the most hated Packers of all time. He certainly will be helping his stats if he goes to Minnesota but apparently loyalty and honestly are not as important to Favre as to me.
Yet, on the flip side I look at the Minnesota team and they will be incredible with Favre and Peterson in the backfield. Plus Favre knows the whole division. Plus the NFC is weak and his chance to going to the Super Bowl is high. In addition, Favre has never had the best running back in league or even close and now he could have that in Peterson. He will also be playing in a dome so the bad weather will not be as big of a factor. Also Vikings have no super bowls victories. Favre could be a huge icon and idol in Minnesota and Wisconsin, only it may take a few years until Wisconsin takes him back.
Overall I do not have much respect for him as a person for his lack of honesty, but I understand he loves football, he wants revenge on the Packers organization, and he wants to win another Super Bowl.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Cars in Memphis
I grew up in a state that is Eco-friendly. Many people biked to work, recycled, exercised, ate semi--healthy, oh, and also did not try to hit people who did bike to work.
I am still feeling shock from a few days ago when I was biking down Park on my way to the UPS Store, my humble employer, and I felt the rush of a SUV that was inches away from me at a stoplight.
What is with these people?
Not only was the light red, when the stupid driver passed me, but the genius was so close that I think I lost some hair on my left forearm. It's troubling to think that this genius wanted to get through this light so bad that he would kill someone who was biking. I was stopped at the light for a brief second before the genius zoomed by me. It's troubling to understand that this genius felt it necessary to be going an insane speed down this road.
I am fed up with Memphis' brilliant drivers.
Now I love the city of Memphis and I will be here for several years to come, but what is up with hating people on bikes?
Basically I have concluded that the majority of Memphis is not from Wisconsin. They have grown up throwing everything away always. They have grown up in a poor school system and they have grown up in a worldview that does not encourage healthy habits such as biking to work, and eating less that 10 times a week at McDonald's.
I may not like these facts, but honestly I feel called to be here. Someone needs to give hope to the hopeless? Maybe I will starting a biking revolution here in Memphis. Maybe I will join a running club here in Memphis and encourage others to do so. Maybe with a few baby steps this city will somehow not try to kill me for riding my bike to work. Yet, right wno this city is trying to kill me, but they have not succeeded yet.
So where's my bike? I've got places to be.
I am still feeling shock from a few days ago when I was biking down Park on my way to the UPS Store, my humble employer, and I felt the rush of a SUV that was inches away from me at a stoplight.
What is with these people?
Not only was the light red, when the stupid driver passed me, but the genius was so close that I think I lost some hair on my left forearm. It's troubling to think that this genius wanted to get through this light so bad that he would kill someone who was biking. I was stopped at the light for a brief second before the genius zoomed by me. It's troubling to understand that this genius felt it necessary to be going an insane speed down this road.
I am fed up with Memphis' brilliant drivers.
Now I love the city of Memphis and I will be here for several years to come, but what is up with hating people on bikes?
Basically I have concluded that the majority of Memphis is not from Wisconsin. They have grown up throwing everything away always. They have grown up in a poor school system and they have grown up in a worldview that does not encourage healthy habits such as biking to work, and eating less that 10 times a week at McDonald's.
I may not like these facts, but honestly I feel called to be here. Someone needs to give hope to the hopeless? Maybe I will starting a biking revolution here in Memphis. Maybe I will join a running club here in Memphis and encourage others to do so. Maybe with a few baby steps this city will somehow not try to kill me for riding my bike to work. Yet, right wno this city is trying to kill me, but they have not succeeded yet.
So where's my bike? I've got places to be.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Something greater than myself
Love is a choice.
These four words have been echoing in my head that past few days. Recently I watched my best friend begin a new life. He was married two days ago to a beautiful woman, Michal. I was touched as I watched them kiss, embrace, dance, and give freely to each other. I loved every second of the weekend. From the moments of joy to the moments of jealously to the moments of sadness as I watched them leave.
I could not have been happier. The power of love is that of pure selflessness. When I look on my life the greatest moments are not about me at all. The greatest moments of my life thus far have been all about others; my parents, my sister, my friends, and my faith in something greater than myself. This concept does not make sense.
Shouldn't our lives be great when we succeed?
That is what Hollywood teaches us.
That is what capitalism teaches us.
How crazy we would have to be to want others to succeed, but not ourselves. Maybe I go through school for knowledge, but this knowledge is not for me. The education is for the ability to teach others what I know. Maybe I work to earn money, but the money is useless unless I give it to someone else to pay rent, pay food, and have the ability to give to others in other ways. Maybe I love people not for myself but to have them love me back. Maybe success is not about me at all, but true success is watching others succeed and their success is about watching you give to their success.
Man, I am confused.
Yet, I know my life is not about me.
Love is a choice to give yourself to something greater than yourself.
What is greater than yourself?
Marriage? Education? Church? Money? God?
I am not sure what you think, but all I ask of you is to think about it.
These four words have been echoing in my head that past few days. Recently I watched my best friend begin a new life. He was married two days ago to a beautiful woman, Michal. I was touched as I watched them kiss, embrace, dance, and give freely to each other. I loved every second of the weekend. From the moments of joy to the moments of jealously to the moments of sadness as I watched them leave.
I could not have been happier. The power of love is that of pure selflessness. When I look on my life the greatest moments are not about me at all. The greatest moments of my life thus far have been all about others; my parents, my sister, my friends, and my faith in something greater than myself. This concept does not make sense.
Shouldn't our lives be great when we succeed?
That is what Hollywood teaches us.
That is what capitalism teaches us.
How crazy we would have to be to want others to succeed, but not ourselves. Maybe I go through school for knowledge, but this knowledge is not for me. The education is for the ability to teach others what I know. Maybe I work to earn money, but the money is useless unless I give it to someone else to pay rent, pay food, and have the ability to give to others in other ways. Maybe I love people not for myself but to have them love me back. Maybe success is not about me at all, but true success is watching others succeed and their success is about watching you give to their success.
Man, I am confused.
Yet, I know my life is not about me.
Love is a choice to give yourself to something greater than yourself.
What is greater than yourself?
Marriage? Education? Church? Money? God?
I am not sure what you think, but all I ask of you is to think about it.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
follow
I am currently slacking on my blogging and for that I apologize. Life has been busy up to this point and with work and graduate classes I have a tendency to over commit myself. I get too involved in too many projects. I have work to do, tests to take, and papers to write. I have books to read for school, work, and and books I just want to read. I have new words to teach myself, yet what is the benefit of truly learning a different language? Well I do not know, yet. I also have over committed myself by going to three different churches and three different bible studies/classes? Why do I do this? Because I love new places, people, and challenges.
I am currently training for a marathon and that is something I have accomplished before and therefore I am so excited about running 26.2 again , but how will I find time to train for this race? So what am I saying?
Over committing is a myth. Under committing is the truth.
I am not truly committed to anything right now. I am a liquid. I am not a solid. I run lose and thin. I am not full and real in anything I am doing. If I really want to make a difference in this world, I must commit. These means I do not make soft statements and white lies. This means I show up consistently and that I am active and involved.
This is what a disciple did for his rabbi.
A disciple follows and drops everything. A disciple denies himself and follows his rabbi. I am not following right now. I am on some abstract road that is only determined by my feelings for this or that subject on a particular day. I have no commitment in my life. This is a sin.
"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."
- Mark 8:34
I am currently training for a marathon and that is something I have accomplished before and therefore I am so excited about running 26.2 again , but how will I find time to train for this race? So what am I saying?
Over committing is a myth. Under committing is the truth.
I am not truly committed to anything right now. I am a liquid. I am not a solid. I run lose and thin. I am not full and real in anything I am doing. If I really want to make a difference in this world, I must commit. These means I do not make soft statements and white lies. This means I show up consistently and that I am active and involved.
This is what a disciple did for his rabbi.
A disciple follows and drops everything. A disciple denies himself and follows his rabbi. I am not following right now. I am on some abstract road that is only determined by my feelings for this or that subject on a particular day. I have no commitment in my life. This is a sin.
"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."
- Mark 8:34
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
+053.jpg)
