From Mo's to Memphis

A Psalm a Day

2012-01-26T06:35:00.000-08:00

1For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation.2He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall never be shaken.3How long will you assail a person, will you batter your victim, all of you, as you would a leaning wall, a tottering fence?4Their only plan is to bring down a person of prominence. They take pleasure in falsehood; they bless with their mouths, but inwardly they curse. (Selah)5For God alone my soul waits in silence, for my hope is from him.6He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken.7On God rests my deliverance and my honor; my mighty rock, my refuge is in God.8Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. (Selah)9Those of low estate are but a breath, those of high estate are a delusion; in the balances they go up; they are together lighter than a breath.10Put no confidence in extortion, and set no vain hopes on robbery; if riches increase, do not set your heart on them.11Once God has spoken; twice have I heard this: that power belongs to God,12and steadfast love belongs to you, O Lord. For you repay to all according to their work.

One Focus

2012-01-02T18:08:00.000-08:00

"Perhaps every person is a victim of preoccupation and distraction."- Gary Cleveland

I appreciate that fact I read this on a recent blog by my good friend and I immediately though about something else. Then I said to myself, "What did I just do?" Just like all of you I get distracted from time and time. I may be watching a baseball game, but flip channels just to see what is on the other channels. I often read more than one book at a time. I need to keep busy and I love the internet because I can switch from a theological discussion on one page and an article about Andrew Luck on ESPN.com on another page. Then I might check my balance on my Debit Card and check my e-mail before I watch a movie on Netflix. This is the world where I live a world with 15 second televisions and thousands of ads popping on my Macbook everyday. Anyway my point is: my world not one that I sit and wait often. I do not take time to let my mind focus on one thing very much. I think of 4 or 5 at a time.
I live with distraction and preoccupation.

The year is 2012. Some say it is the end of the world, yet I stay my world will keep going. I want to be a person of focus in 2012. I want to take more time to be in prayer and only prayer. I want to read, one book at a time. I want to be focused on one thing at a time. I want to live in one place, not two or three. I will continue to wear many hats; student, minister, teacher, and friend. Yet, I was to be in the moment. Whatever that moment is. I believe if I start writing more I will enjoy life more. This is one thing that will help me focus.

My life has a purpose and that purpose to bless people with my words and works. I believe I need goals in order to grow. I am an organized and driven person and I am a type- A personality that likes neatness and simplicity. Hopefully, but focusing on this blog and on this new perspective I will grow spiritually and emotionally.

One purpose. One mind. One life.

Let the journey of 2012 begin.

Morgantown to Memphis

2011-11-09T11:17:00.000-08:00

I have not lived in Memphis since January of 2010. During the next two years I have had a few bumps in the road and some overwhelming joys in my life. In these past few months I have been working as a Campus Minister Intern at West Virginia University. It has been an experience that I will always cherish. I have been able to teaching students about what God has taught me. I have had the opportunity to see a beautiful side of the country with huge mountains and fall leaves flying. I have been able to meet students who love Jesus from all over the world and build relationships with families that will bless me for a lifetime. I have learned about the loneliness in ministry as well. I have always can appreciate for ministers in the church, but now I have even more appreciate for the those who serve the body.

When I left Memphis in 2010 I was a young man who needed a break from school and now I am a young man who is hopefully school with fulfill me in ways I need not appreciate two years ago. I do not know what 2012 will bring. At first I thought 2012 would be the year I would get married, not it seems marriage is not so close. Also in 2012 I thought I might receive a Masters of Divinity, but that will not happen either since I do a break from school in 2010. 2012, what will you bring me?

Now I know the Nov. 9 is a bit early to start planning for the next year, but a head start is not a bad idea. God has been preparing me for ministry since I was 14 so I suppose I can be patience for another 2 or 3 years, before I leave the theological training that the program I am requires. God is up to something in me. I am not sure what, but God is up to something. I will head to Memphis with determination and with peace. Memphis after two years I am coming back to finish what I began.

Quote from N.T. Wright

2011-10-19T19:57:00.001-07:00

(In response to those who tell him, “I don’t believe in God”) “Really? Which god is it that you don’t believe in?”
“My proposal is not that we understand what the word ‘god’ means and manage somehow to fit Jesus into that. Instead, I suggest that we think historically about a young Jew, possessed of a desperately risky, indeed apparently crazy, vocation, riding into Jerusalem in tears, denouncing the Temple, and dying on a Roman cross–and that we take our courage in both hands and allow our meaning for the word ‘god’ to be recentered around that point.”

Quote from Brian McLaren

2011-09-12T20:19:00.000-07:00

To me, as I reflect on the Scriptures and on the jagged history of our planet, it is better to say that God’s sovereignty is not totalitarian. God isn’t the kind of king interested in absolute control. God wouldn’t create that kind of relationship with the universe because God isn’t that kind of God. Instead, God creates space and time for a universe to be, to become, to unfold in its own story, its own evolution. God’s kingship is God’s absolute commitment to be with us, whatever happens, always working to bring good from evil, healing from suffering, reconciliation from conflict, and hope from despair. This is the God I see imaged in Jesus, born as a vulnerable baby, growing as a vulnerable boy, living as an unarmed man with courage and kindness. This is the God imaged as a king who washes the feet of his subjects, a king whose power is revealed not by killing and conquering but by suffering and dying . . . and rising again.

the claim is recovered

2011-08-09T20:47:00.001-07:00

I simply argue that the cross be rasied again
at the center of the market place
as well as on the steeple of the church,

I am recovering the claim that
Jesus was not crucified in a cathedral
between two candles:

But on a cross between two thieves;
on a town garbage heap;
At a crossroad of politics so cosmopolitan
that they had to write His title
in Hebrew and in Latin and in Greek...

And at the kind of place wher cynics talk smut,
and thieves curse and soldiers gamble.

Becuase that is where He died,
and that is what He died about.
And that is where Christ's me ought to be,
and what church people ought to be about.

- George MacLeod

Catch my disease

2011-07-06T19:33:00.000-07:00

Prayer by Walter Brueggemann:

Be our primary disease,
and infect us with you justice,
Be our night visitor,
and haunt us with your peace;
Be our moth that consumes,
and eat away at our unfreedom,
Be our primary disease,
our night visitor,
our moth
infect, haunt, eat away...

Until we are toward you and with you and for you,
away from our injustice, our anti-peace, our unfreedom.

More like you and less like you resistance.
In the name of the one most like you, most with you, most for you...even Jesus.

Deliver Us: Review of the Exodus Event

2011-04-22T20:49:00.000-07:00

God has worked wonders, again. Yahweh, the God of Israel, delivered the Israelites from the mighty hand of the Egyptians. The King of Egypt was defeated by the King of Israel, Yahweh. Much of Israel had forgotten her God, yet Yahweh remembered, heard Isarel’s cries, felt her suffering and decided to free Israel through Moses. Egypt was punished for their mistreatment of humanity. The King of Egypt would not let Israel go. Yet, God build a free nation through Moses and worked wonders for weeks in Egypt.
The Ten Insults toward Egypt
Each plague insulted a false god of Egypt. For example, Isis was the God in charge of protecting the Nile River, yet Yahweh turned the Nile to blood. Also Re was the Sun God of Egypt, however, yet Yahweh engulfed Egypt in three days of darkness. Yahweh was about justice and freedom. Egypt was about oppression. Freedom wins!

The Exodus Event is symbolic and literal. I was able to visit Egypt in 2006 and I saw where God worked in the past. However, God is not finished in Egypt. Christians and Jews still live in Egypt to this very day. Christians meet in church in Cairo weekly. I was able to worship God in Egypt just as the Israelites did a long time ago. My prayer is God liberates you form sin; just as God liberated Israel from the hands of the Egyptians. The story of the Exodus is retold every Passover by the Jewish people. Christianity stems from Judaism and therefore we are a part of this great history too. Let God liberate you today!

Clean Glasses

2011-04-04T21:18:00.000-07:00

I wear glasses. My doctor says I need to to see more clearly. Now for me I do not wear them nearly as much as a I should. Therefore, due to my lack of participation, I do not clean my glasses often either. So when I do wear them I must clean them before use. Now this is a simple statements, but let me enter a verse from the Sermon on the Mount here, as recorded in Matthew 5-7 in the New Testament.

Jesus states, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."

Yet, is the reverse of this true?

"If you are impure, you shall see God."

I would say so. Impurity may prohibit people to see God clearly or at all. Just as my glasses because dirty so are life can be dirty. Glasses need to be cleaner at times. Hearts, too, must be cleaner at times. The heart determined how the Ancients perceived the world and so we too must have a clean heart. A heart that is pure serves others and not just self. A heart that is clean allows other people in and an impure heart lets no one in to see how dirty it can become.

If our eyes cannot see God, then they cannot serve humanity either. God seeks for us to have clean heart, because out of our heart the actions flow. A vision must be clean. Our hearts must be clean. If we do not have clean hearts we cannot see God, ourselves, or the world clearly.

Therefore go and make your heart clean. I shall do the same.

May we see the world as God sees the world. May we see people the way God sees people; with clean hearts.

23

2011-03-25T09:31:00.000-07:00

Good morning. I hope Friday is treating you well. Currently as I look outside my window I see a bright sunshine and bitter cold temperatures (18 degrees to be exact). I want this morning to be a day of reflection. I have spent my last 24 hours with people and I need some time alone. Therefore I will sit and reflect on Psalm 23. Here are the words of the Psalm. Reflect and enjoy your day.

The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

Where seminaries have failed?

2011-02-22T09:30:00.000-08:00

Too many seminaries lack true mentoring programs.

Jesus taught the Twelve by being with and traveling daily for three years. Now seminaries have nailed the time spent, most are three year programs, yet seminaries lack an ability to daily spend time with their students. As a seminar student I understand concepts and the importance of education and of understand theological issues. Yet, I need more than education when preparing for ministry. I must have the ability to mentor others into God's work in their lives. This is a tall task that seminaries must try to provide for their students. Seminaries are unable to do what Jesus did with the Twelve but suppose seminaries had a closer relationship with their students. How powerful would it be for seminaries to spend time in church, home, and class of their professors?
Student also need to be willing to branch out and spend time in church and not just in the classrooms. The problem with mentoring is not the concept but actually living it out. True mentoring takes time, effort, and dedication from both parties.

Time
Effort
Dedication

4 give ness

2011-01-22T22:48:00.000-08:00

In a few hours the NFC Championship will be on the line, however I will be making mocha for Starbucks' customers.

Now I have been upset, sad, and depressed as I have had this reality in my mind for a week, yet I am at peace about it now.

In the past few minutes I have watched some old clips of Bears vs Packers and in the clips is a man who wears green and gold and a number 4 on his jersey.

If you know me well you know that I have hated Favre over the past two years. I have cheered loudly against him (ask Memphis Folk) and I have even hated him as a person more than ever (see sextgate). By the way I have met Favre and he seemed like a all right guy when I was a kid, but in the past two years he made a lot of poor decisions on and off the field (see his overtime inceptions in 2007 and 2009). I am no genius, but I try to be one at times and one lesson I have learned is forgiveness.

I need to learn this lesson daily. On the eve of the biggest game (maybe win) in Green Bay history since the leaving of Brett Favre I have to say I feel like I can forgive him for the wrong he has done on and off the turf.

Early this week Favre said he thought the Pack would "win it all, and he wants them too." Also Favre said "Rodgers is the best in the NFL right now."

Now these comments mean nothing because Favre just wants to be on television and in the news, but at least it's a positive message to Green Bay's fans like myself. For a long time Favre was only in the news for negative attention.

As I stated I feel like I have moved on from Favre. I hate that Favre did what he did, but after I watched the old clips of Favre playing hurt, Favre playing after the death of his father, and Favre throwing countless last minute touchdowns to beat the Bears and Vikings, I am a bit relieved that Favre used to play for the good guys of the NFC, not the rivals of God's team.

So hear I sit. The eve before the NFC champ is given a ticket to the Super Bowl.

4 Give Ness

Snow by the Foot

2010-12-16T09:56:00.000-08:00

Snow has recently come to Wisconsin and I believe it's here to stay.

Many of you know I moved to Wisconsin from Memphis about a year ago and at the time I was unprepared for the cold when I got back home to the land of snow in Wisconsin. However, I have now adjusted. I am once again used to waking up a tad bit earlier to scrap the frost of my car and let the car warm up for a few minutes before entering into the ice box and driving to work at the wee hours in the morning to serve 16 beautiful ounces of coffee to my fellow Wisconsinites in the bitter cold.

I have to say I love the snow, the fresh cool air, and a warm cup of Joe in the cold crisp days of winter in Wisconsin. Sure I miss being able to run outside in the warm Memphis temperatures in December and I miss the pressure of turning in two papers and preparing for finals, but once time and time again God has shown me coming to Wisconsin was the right decision.

So I pray God has blessed your decisions lately too.

2010-11-24T19:22:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving. A time to give thanks.

But for what? Anything.

That is the beauty of the holiday.

No matter what you are thankful for this year; take time, and give thanks.

read in community

2010-10-14T18:44:00.000-07:00

On Thursdays in the fall some of the men in our church have gotten together and studied the book of Proverbs. This little book in the back portion of the Old Testament really has depth. I have been impressed with how difficult Proverbs and other books can be when read in community. I might be challenged by the words in the book, the thoughts of my fellow brothers, or the prayer needs of fellow believers. I hope this continues, which leads me to this thought,

"Theology is most profound in the context of community,"

Spare Time

2010-09-12T06:21:00.000-07:00

In the past week I have not had much of this. Yesterday I only used it to sit on my lazy bum placed in a comfortable couch and watch an overpriced television.

Today how will I use it?

What is it? You know it. You might have it today (I hope so, being a Sunday).

Spare Time.

Honestly, I have quite a bit of spare time, I just use it poorly. Maybe you can relate, you wake up around six in the morning to go to your place of employment then you clock out around dinner time, let us say six pm at night. Then you are exhausted so you grab a sandwich at the closest Subway-like business and go home. Once you have achieved the appropriate destination, being a couch or sofa, where the day began. Then the television is turned out and quickly ESPN's Sportscenter is playing over and over again as you simply fall into a coma. Once waking up from this event you realize it's time for bed.

Sadly this was my life a few more days then I would like to admit in the past year.

I use my spare time poorly as stated above.

This week I seek to solve this simple silly use of my time.

13.1

2010-08-20T14:11:00.000-07:00

Today will be my last of preparation until my half marathon. I am excited that the rain is about to come down from the sky therefore the temperatures will come down. The weather is not deathly hot, like my former city Memphis, but it is fairly humid outside for a Wisconsin summer day. I am looking forward to tomorrow. The last race I ran was in Memphis last spring and this will be a much bigger and faster course than Memphis'.

The current plan is start the race at an eight minute pace and keep it. We'll see what happens.

Other Side- Winner of 2009 John Lennon Best Lyrics

2010-08-11T14:51:00.000-07:00

Other Side of It All

Lyrics and Music by Caleb Hawley

Years ago – The early thirties there was trouble

A whole nation of discouraged people

‘Til FDR made a deal

And we moved along

Today – Still seeing worry on the peoples face

The banks took all confidence out of this place

And there’s no money to be made

But we’ll find a way,

Everything’s gonna be ok – It always is

Chorus

Cause Ever since the world began

When the people go down, they get right back up again

I know that it’s hard to imagine

But it’s gonna happen – and I’ll see on the other side of the all

There is a town – In Germany that had to build a wall

Couldn’t get along so they just divided it all

But then they tore it down

And they moved along

But still – Across the map there’s all this tension built

Whole world living by division will

But I like to think it’ll change

You know we’ve seen it happen before

So I wouldn’t close your mind yet

Chorus

Bridge

I know it can see like forever

But in the span of it all you know it really ain’t to long

Cause we’ve been from slavery to freedom

Enemies to now we need them

In arguing found reason of it all

Ignorant to acceptant, out of touch to connected

Blown up to erected, underdog to elected

Followers to leaders, illiterate to readers

Skeptics to believers, we’ve come millions of meters

So how is everyone still talking how the worlds going down?

A Letter from a Grateful Samaritan

2010-07-26T11:20:00.000-07:00

To My Friends:

Guys, you will not believe what happened to me, but I will you anyway. I remember the event like it was yesterday. Forget yesterday. I remember the event like it was this morning.
You see I was outside the city gate, like usually, when my Jewish buddies Joshua and Stephen, saw the man every was gossiping about, your know the guys, anyway they saw him. In fact, they shouted at time, “Master save us, Rabbi, have mercy on us.”
Then He starred at us and looked at us. Now, most people did not even look at, let only talk to us. They would glance, glare, smirk, and they whisper something in their friend’s ear before turning their back to us. Yet, this man, he was different.
He looked at us with eyes of compassion. He then did something remarkable. He talked to us. He said, “Go to the priests.” I was taken back by his sense of authority. He spoke with a raw sense of power.
I was a bit unconcerned about going to a priest. I was a half-bred. I had a Jewish mother, but my father he was Greek. Therefore I was a Samaritan. I was hated by the Jews inside the city gates. However, out here in the desert away from city I was accepted and welcomed by everyone, Jew or Gentile. I guess what they say is true, “Misery welcomes company.” Jew, Greek, male, or female with all got along well in the Leper Colony outside of the city walls. We loved each other like family.
Yes, we were all unclean; throw out of the city, shunned by society, and taken away from our families. I had been in the Leper Colony about 15 years before the Rabbi came.
I am 20 now. It has been a tough life, but I am happy to be alive, so I thought. But my life was about to be turned upside down.
The man repeated himself, even louder this time, “Go to the priests.” We all started walking. He put so much fear in us I almost left like we were going out for a run; like we we work a ragtag group of Greeks out to start a race around Athens.
We were all together. We were side by side. We went to the city gates and just stood there with our eyes lifted up to view the side of the temple. We probably lived about a mile outside the city.
Then Stephen, “I am healed.” Another spoke up, “Me. Too.” Yet, another, “Praise God by boils are gone.”
I looked down at my skin. The reddish color of blood and scars was gone. My side looked like the skin of a baby boy. The skin was so clean and healthy. I quick ran by to Jesus. The others went to the priests.
I was running. I saw Jesus and sprinted. I bowed before his feet and I shouted, “Praise God. Thank You Master.” I was in tears. Jesus was in tears. He looked at me, “Where are the other nine?” he asked. I was not sure, so I said, “They are with their families.”

He said, “Get up. “
He hugged me and then said, “Go home. Your faith has made you well.”

I will never get tired of sharing that story. My Gentile friend Luke asked me to tell him that story over and over again. So I told him again and again. I told Luke he should write a book and put me and my healing event in his book.
He laughed and said, “Maybe I will someday. Maybe I will.”

From a grateful Samaritan

Elie Wiesel: When a man becomes a number

2010-07-17T12:58:00.000-07:00

How does a person still believe in God in the wake of such terrible tragedies in the world such as the devastation caused by the earthquake in Haiti, the dwelling drought in Kenya, the awful oil spill in the Gulf, and the ongoing wars fought in the Middle East? However, one event outweighs all the events listed above; the Holocaust. The Holocaust is a symbol of evil that has been around since the 1940s and generations for all time will always be stunned by what humanity produced and executed during those sad years in Germany. The world remained blind to evil in the eyes of many Jews, including the Holocaust survivor and Nobel Prize writer Elie Wiesel, whose work has influenced thousands worldwide. Some Holocaust survivors reject God altogether, including theologian Richard Rubenstein. For Rubenstein the Holocaust murdered his faith and God. Yet, Wiesel sits on the other side of the fence and proclaims that God is not dead.
Wiesel, shown through his words and works, remains faithful in his belief in God’s existence in the world; despite the unexplained pain he felt in the Holocaust, and the apparent evil he continues to witness, because of God’s presence through good people in his life.

Wiesel, like many Jews, grew up a boy of the Torah. Raised in a strong Jewish household, Wiesel learned to love God and God’s law. Yet, when he was 15 the S.S. came to his house and stripped him of all he knew and loved. He arrived in Auschwitz with his father by his side and they clung together until his father’s cruel death. Together they witnessed horrible sights such as flames engulfing children, men straggled by ropes, men being shot repeatedly, men wrestling over bread crumbs, and men committing suicide by throwing themselves on barb wire fences.
Yet, Wiesel did not reject God completely in any of his early days. In a gut wrenching memory Elie describes the beating that would lead to his father’s eventually death. Wiesel’s father was crying out to his son and Elie describes his angry at his father for not remaining silent in the presence of the S.S. guards, who created a bloody laceration on the old man’s head due to his disobedience. Elie could only remain upset and speechless as he observed the scene numbly. Those dreadful days in the death camp would become a problem for Wiesel’s theology, along with the rest of the world, and his life as he once knew it was over before he would celebrate his six-teeth birthday. For the next year Elie Wiesel was simply A-7713 a number that was tattooed on his forearm and he would remain a number for the next few months. His name was gone and his life forever changed.

FRIDAY- A prayer of Dr. Walter Brueggemann

2010-06-19T13:27:00.000-07:00

Friday is your day of entry

Giver of good gifts, we give you hearty thanks...that it is Friday

We say, without guilt, "Thank God It's Friday!"

Partly, as we come to Friday, along with our culture, we are into weekends of self-indulgence. We have worked hard and are ready to take a break and rest from our labors. We wait for a moment when we need not pay attention to the steady demands with which we live, caring not at all for the world, or for our neighbor, or our duty.

Give us the mercy to move Friday we are ready for Sabbath rest, when we rest as we imagine you rest. It is clear to us in our best pondering that our lives are made for rest and not for work. So give us the simplicity to put ourselves down in your rest, whereby we may receive back our true selves by drawing close to you.

But mainly, as we come to Friday, we know in our deepest places that Friday is your day of entry into the hurt and hate of the world, your day of bottomless when we have seen you allied with the world in its deepest disorder. We know you to be a Friday God without the honors of omnipotence. And so we pray that you will "Friday us" into the very weakness where we may receive our new life from you.

We pray in the name of your Friday Child. Amen.

Cry Out to God

2010-06-10T12:49:00.000-07:00

What does it mean to mourn? What does it mean to cry? What does it mean to lament?

We look at the examples in the scriptures and we see Jesus shedding tears of blood in the Garden of Gethsemane. We see Hezekiah plead for his life. We see David mourn the loss of his son and lament over his sins of adultery and murder and lust and greed.

These men truly cried out to God. Some other examples include Peter after his denial of Jesus, Jesus wept at the loss of Lazarus, and Israel as she is enslaved in Egypt or exiled in Babylon. We see Jeremiah cry for his people and Nehemiah cry as the walls of Jerusalem are torn down. We Jesus cries over Jerusalem as well.

But, my question to you is: When have you wept? Mourned? Or lamented?

Our culture seeks happiness. Our culture stays clear of pain. We numb ourselves if we have sorrows. Some drink their pains away. Some avoid openness, honesty, and confession about the hurt in their lives. I am guilty of culture corrupting me. I think we probably all are. I do not like pain and suffering. I do not know how to mourn. I have forgotten what God’s people were so good at for so long. They could be open and honest about their pain with God and with their community. They connected to God in a way I know so little about. I want to be able to connect with God in this way.

Often I feel that I do not value emotions and I try to correct my pain with my logic and intellect or lack there of. Too often I forget to connect with God through my feelings and this is my loss.

Baby Steps

2010-05-24T04:07:00.000-07:00

Have you ever watched a kid? They run around all day and play. They laugh. They cry. They have pain but that does not stop them from continuing from their games. Despite pain they play. Children obtain freedom and a carefree attitude. In note, children do not worry about where they are going or where they are going to eat or what they will wear. They couldn't care less. They simply seek to live.

This is interesting to me. Because the other day I was reading my Bible1 about Jesus talking with his disciples and he tells them. “Look if you want to enter my kingdom, live like him,” and then Jesus nods to the boy sitting as his lap. He tells the disciples run, play, be fun, enjoy, embrace, and laugh. God must sit there and just say to quietly sometimes, “Who is this, Andy? He stresses about something but he does not have a clue about how to truly live.”

The more we, as people, desire knowledge on how to live the more complicated we make life. According to Jesus, we should take notes from children. Do you seek to run around and live without worry? The life I live is something I am not always proud of. I observe people walking around all day who fret about families, careers, and assignments. Now people, jobs, and exams should not be neglected for taken for granted but they should not control us. I do not want to offend anyone but life is not an assignment and I do not believe in a God who intended us to live like this; from frustration to fury. I believe in a God that intended for us to live like a child. God desires for us to have freedom to love and a willingness to laugh at ourselves from time to time. God plans for us to think; but not too much. God always finds routes to provide for children

Jesus did something else odd in the Luke 9. He told the disciples to go out and seek people to share the good news, but do not plan ahead. Jesus tells the disciples not to bring clothes, worry about food, or shelter. Jesus said go unprepared for you need to see how God is always ready to provide you with gracious gifts. What a mission trip? Jesus sought for the disciples to solely rely on God. Just as the Israelites in the desert God provided food for enough food for only one day.2

Children live day to day. Kids only survive because their parents provide for them. The kids provide nothing except a body to be energized, a mind to be taught, and heart to be molded. I believe this is how we should be, totally open to God shaping and molding us just as a potter makes something out of clay.3
We must let go of control and take hold of the hand of God.

Prayer of Purity

2010-05-03T18:50:00.000-07:00

Obtain for me a deep sense of modesty which will be reflected in my external conduct. Protect my eyes, the windows of my soul, from anything that might dim the luster of a heart that must mirror only Christlike purity. And when the "Bread of Angels" becomes my food in Holy Communion, seal my heart forever against the suggestions of sinful pleasure. May I be among the number to whom Jesus spoke: "Blessed are the pure of heart fro they shall see God".

Prayer of Saint Francis

2010-03-17T12:40:00.001-07:00

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

2010-02-26T11:46:00.001-08:00

Do good, be well, keep in touch.

Advent Conspiracy

2009-12-14T15:14:00.000-08:00

Check this video out. It's inspiring. Join the movement. Advent Conspiracy. org.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkTyPzRzuwc&feature=player_embedded#

Blackout

2009-11-19T18:46:00.000-08:00

On one particular Tuesday I was flipping through journals.

Scanning through ATLA for the next significant article, I was doing what I do best. Reading.
Actually if you talk to some of my friends, they might tell you I do not read that well, but I like to read despite my lack of skill. Something about reading a person's words inspires me. Maybe this explains why I repeatably read blogs of theologians that I will never touch the hems of their garments.

I noticed a flicker. Maybe this was just a dream. I had a significant lack of sleep and it was late in the afternoon. I had been with the dull white-washed walls of the research center for hours. Maybe too many hours. So I continued to slowly digest an article in the Theological Dictionary of the Old Testament on herem. My life is boring. This I know.

Next the flicker of the lights occurs again. The lights go out.

Conclusion:

Sometimes God simple wants me to stop reading; and get out of the library.

Little Tear Drops

2009-09-20T19:44:00.000-07:00

The Cooper-Young Festival is a time for joy. A time for laughs, kicks, and giggles. Unfortunately for one woman at the festival, who may have endured an excessive amount of alcohol, took it upon herself to push her stroller. In the stroller her young two year old daughter rode down the road, along the sidewalk, and in the middle of the street! Her activity led to an angry audience who went about cursing and yelling at the lonesome lady. As I nervously watched this scene unfold I suppose I anticipated what would occur next.

The mother was stumbling, bumbling, and rumbling down the road when a car almost hit her and the baby. Therefore she smoothly and zealously moved onto the sidewalk, where like a true sidewalk, ended abruptly. The baby then, as I cringed, was immediately dropped on her face. The crowd behind me screamed. One obnoxious teen confronted the mother throwing a few indecent words her way. I refrained from cursing and said a little prayer under my breath. The crowd continued with cursing as they saw her and her child walk down the middle of the road and jump into a pickup truck with had a strong willed significant other at the wheel.

This event left me disappointed. As I finished walking to my car I could still hear the loud crying of small little girl. In fact, I almost felt like crying myself.

And like a productive multitask-er, the mother of the daughter talked on her cell phone during the entire process.

Map My Run

2009-08-06T15:26:00.000-07:00

It is almost time. I glance outside my bedroom window into the darkness. The smell is awful as I timidly unlace my running. The last time I took of these shoes I failed to untie the overpriced footwear due to the one swift motion that occurred as I quickly through them off my feet. Then I uncomfortably maneuvered to my bathroom. Rule #1: Go to the bathroom before running. I look down at my cheap watch. It's 9: 05. Time for my run.
The feelings of relief have already begun. I am not at work. I am not studying for an exam. My feet are hitting the pavement along with the noises of car alarms, people yelling, and rap music from the car adjacent to me. This is definitely Memphis. A car slowly follows me as I head out of the apartment complex and onto my first road. Right turn. I am on my way. I start my watch it quickly begins 00:01, 00:02, 00:03, and so it goes. I do not know why I am timing this. Am I training for the Olympics or something? I guess it is habit.
I would like to say the air is fresh and cool across my face, but that would be a lie. The air is hot and sticks to me like glue. I have sweat forming across my forehead the second I move outside my apartment. This weather sucks, that is all I can say. Left turn down Park Ave. I am a little set back. A car honks. I hear someone shout, "Run, Forrest, Run." What a punk! I hate that movie (Forrest Gump). I can't think of anything less annoying to hear as I run. The street and car lights are comforting in the darkness. It's amazing to me how hot is can be in the south despite it being almost ten at night.

What is up with that? So I run.

Memphis Blues

2009-07-30T17:14:00.000-07:00

Well after another day of work and rain, I am dry and bored at my new apartment.

The common trend of being bored and being alone here in Memphis continues, as I type.

I am hoping that I can gain some insight tonight as I will start some new books and possibly watch a movie that I have never scene. A few of my friends have gone to Atlanta and my roommate Justin is dog sitting; also many of my friends are at camp this week. Therefore this leads me home alone.

I have to say that I enjoyed a 6 mile run in the rain today out at Shelby Farms. The run was wet, fast, and refreshing. I need to go out to that park more often. Shelby is probably my favorite park in the world right now, and I have been to some good park around the world, too. All and all it was a good day. I finished The Half-Blood Prince this morning and I began reading the 7th book of Harry Potter today at work. I have really enjoyed those books. Man, they are good.

I am not quite sure what makes me so lonely here in Memphis. I have a church. I have a job. I have friends. I have a degree to pursue. I guess it's just that I am never satisfied. I have close friends who are distance. I have tasks that seem above me. I have a passion that seems to be unused. Also of my friends is ignoring me and doesn't seem to mind me missing from his life.
That is a tough one to grasp.

Yet, I press on.

A Biker's Lament

2009-07-09T16:22:00.000-07:00

I have to say I get pretty disappointed with the city I live in sometimes.

Sometimes I can on my bike and I give the sign to make a right turn and people ignore me completely. The drivers almost seem to enjoy the fact that I am on a slower machine than their arrogant selves. I really hate it! How do these people think? What motivates them to honk their horn at me? I am not quite sure. Maybe they hate me because they do not believe I should bike on "their" road. Maybe they hate me because I am slow. Perhaps they think I am ugly. Okay they probably do not think I am physical unattractive, but seriously what is going on with their lives? Do they get satisfaction at honking at bikers?

I really sense angry in Memphis. People here seem to really not care about the people they drive, eat, or sleep with. Now I have slighted in this view, but I really wish Memphis was a more friendly place to live. I often grow weary of poor attitudes when I travel around this town. Memphis seem to be a dark place.

Memphis needs some light. My experiences have made me bitter toward Memphis, yet they have motivated me to put more energy into making this city a better place. That is why I will continue to bike around here. That is why I will continue to visit new places and meet new people. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day when I bike.

Friendships

2009-06-04T20:08:00.000-07:00

Currently life has been turned upside.

At times in April I was never by myself. In May I spent a lot of time alone. Now the question is what will the month of June be like?

Usually I have been a person of extremes. I have been told many times that I am dramatic, emotional, and feminine. These statements were based off of my inability to hold by tears, sarcastic remarks, and emotional driven life choices. My character has been shaped by my friends and family mostly. I have the ability to connect with people because of my compassion, yet my compassion is my weakness and strength. This is tough for me to understand. I love people, yet I do not love myself. I have compassion for the hurting, but do not take care of my own pain. As I write this I can hear my drama.

I do not know what June will be like. My roommate has left and I will be living by myself for the first time in my life. I am not sure if this will be a good or bad test for me, but it will be a test that I want to take. It could be a great time of reconnecting with myself and my God. I pray that this is the truth.

Whatever you do? Wherever you are? Whoever you are?

Test yourself.

So today and tomorrow I urge you,

To Reflect,
To Hope,
To Be.

Cuts

2009-05-13T09:36:00.000-07:00

Recently I missed a step and collided with some pavement ground; which, if you have never experienced, hurts.

One of my friends immediately laughed. Another friend said, "Well that is a teachable moment." What is the proper reaction? I am not sure. I did laugh quite a bit, too. Each friend's reaction was appropriate. I definitely learned a lesson; pain teaches. As I observe my lacerations they remind me to be more careful when I walk, bike, and run. Yet, this is not merely a physical lesson.

When I fall it hurts. Sin hurts. Cuts hurt. Blood symbolizes when a vessel is broken. Sin is symbolized by broken relationships. I have taken my falls of late, mostly spiritual ones. I have seen relationships break like glass. It has made me question what sins have occurred? I know I have sins in my life that have hurt relationships.

After I picked myself off the concrete pavement I cleaned myself up. I used soap, water, and bandages. When I sin I also must cleanse myself in confession and change in actions. This has been a trying practice, but a worthy one.

Time heals. My body will heal in time and hopefully my friendships will heal in time.

Favre to Vikings?

2009-05-06T08:38:00.000-07:00

"There is no way I will ever come back again," Brett Favre said in an interview on Feb. 13 2009.

Summer time means Favre drama.

The latest report by ESPN states that later this week Brett Favre will meet privately with the Vikings head coach Brad Childress to discuss the possibility of Brett playing for Minnesota in the 2009 season. The two will most likely decide how much participation with be required of Favre in the mini-camps, the status of his hurting throwing arm, how much longer Favre will play in the NFL, and the Brett's motives for returning for another fair well campaign.

Depressed. Angry. Skeptical.

I hate the Vikings and have for years. They are my least favorite team in sports. Forget the Bears, Cowboys, Yankees, and Cubs dynasties I hate the Vikings far worse. Randy Moss once mooned the Packer fans in a playoff game at Lambeau Field. Darren Sharper and Ryan Longwell both play for the hated Vikings. Now Favre going to Minnesota? I am sick.

For some one as loved as Favre he may now go down as the one of the most hated Packers of all time. He certainly will be helping his stats if he goes to Minnesota but apparently loyalty and honestly are not as important to Favre as to me.

Yet, on the flip side I look at the Minnesota team and they will be incredible with Favre and Peterson in the backfield. Plus Favre knows the whole division. Plus the NFC is weak and his chance to going to the Super Bowl is high. In addition, Favre has never had the best running back in league or even close and now he could have that in Peterson. He will also be playing in a dome so the bad weather will not be as big of a factor. Also Vikings have no super bowls victories. Favre could be a huge icon and idol in Minnesota and Wisconsin, only it may take a few years until Wisconsin takes him back.

Overall I do not have much respect for him as a person for his lack of honesty, but I understand he loves football, he wants revenge on the Packers organization, and he wants to win another Super Bowl.

Cars in Memphis

2009-05-05T06:17:00.000-07:00

I grew up in a state that is Eco-friendly. Many people biked to work, recycled, exercised, ate semi--healthy, oh, and also did not try to hit people who did bike to work.

I am still feeling shock from a few days ago when I was biking down Park on my way to the UPS Store, my humble employer, and I felt the rush of a SUV that was inches away from me at a stoplight.

What is with these people?

Not only was the light red, when the stupid driver passed me, but the genius was so close that I think I lost some hair on my left forearm. It's troubling to think that this genius wanted to get through this light so bad that he would kill someone who was biking. I was stopped at the light for a brief second before the genius zoomed by me. It's troubling to understand that this genius felt it necessary to be going an insane speed down this road.

I am fed up with Memphis' brilliant drivers.

Now I love the city of Memphis and I will be here for several years to come, but what is up with hating people on bikes?

Basically I have concluded that the majority of Memphis is not from Wisconsin. They have grown up throwing everything away always. They have grown up in a poor school system and they have grown up in a worldview that does not encourage healthy habits such as biking to work, and eating less that 10 times a week at McDonald's.

I may not like these facts, but honestly I feel called to be here. Someone needs to give hope to the hopeless? Maybe I will starting a biking revolution here in Memphis. Maybe I will join a running club here in Memphis and encourage others to do so. Maybe with a few baby steps this city will somehow not try to kill me for riding my bike to work. Yet, right wno this city is trying to kill me, but they have not succeeded yet.

So where's my bike? I've got places to be.

Something greater than myself

2009-03-23T09:38:00.000-07:00

Love is a choice.

These four words have been echoing in my head that past few days. Recently I watched my best friend begin a new life. He was married two days ago to a beautiful woman, Michal. I was touched as I watched them kiss, embrace, dance, and give freely to each other. I loved every second of the weekend. From the moments of joy to the moments of jealously to the moments of sadness as I watched them leave.

I could not have been happier. The power of love is that of pure selflessness. When I look on my life the greatest moments are not about me at all. The greatest moments of my life thus far have been all about others; my parents, my sister, my friends, and my faith in something greater than myself. This concept does not make sense.

Shouldn't our lives be great when we succeed?

That is what Hollywood teaches us.

That is what capitalism teaches us.

How crazy we would have to be to want others to succeed, but not ourselves. Maybe I go through school for knowledge, but this knowledge is not for me. The education is for the ability to teach others what I know. Maybe I work to earn money, but the money is useless unless I give it to someone else to pay rent, pay food, and have the ability to give to others in other ways. Maybe I love people not for myself but to have them love me back. Maybe success is not about me at all, but true success is watching others succeed and their success is about watching you give to their success.

Man, I am confused.

Yet, I know my life is not about me.

Love is a choice to give yourself to something greater than yourself.

What is greater than yourself?

Marriage? Education? Church? Money? God?

I am not sure what you think, but all I ask of you is to think about it.

follow

2009-01-25T19:58:00.000-08:00

I am currently slacking on my blogging and for that I apologize. Life has been busy up to this point and with work and graduate classes I have a tendency to over commit myself. I get too involved in too many projects. I have work to do, tests to take, and papers to write. I have books to read for school, work, and and books I just want to read. I have new words to teach myself, yet what is the benefit of truly learning a different language? Well I do not know, yet. I also have over committed myself by going to three different churches and three different bible studies/classes? Why do I do this? Because I love new places, people, and challenges.

I am currently training for a marathon and that is something I have accomplished before and therefore I am so excited about running 26.2 again , but how will I find time to train for this race? So what am I saying?

Over committing is a myth. Under committing is the truth.

I am not truly committed to anything right now. I am a liquid. I am not a solid. I run lose and thin. I am not full and real in anything I am doing. If I really want to make a difference in this world, I must commit. These means I do not make soft statements and white lies. This means I show up consistently and that I am active and involved.

This is what a disciple did for his rabbi.

A disciple follows and drops everything. A disciple denies himself and follows his rabbi. I am not following right now. I am on some abstract road that is only determined by my feelings for this or that subject on a particular day. I have no commitment in my life. This is a sin.

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."
- Mark 8:34

Praise

2008-11-16T14:45:00.000-08:00

Never has there been a better day to worship God than today.

As I have sat through Bible class, church, and football games today I have come to realize something. God deserves to be praised right now. God has been teaching me to praise him more than ever before. Church has been become more to me today than it has ever been in the past. Before church was a ritual and a job, now I see it as a joyful experience of praise. I am choosing to praise him in my classes trough doing my assignments. I am choosing to praise him as I go work and help old ladies try on their favorite shoe, the Shadow 6000. I am choosing to praise God by reading books that have motivated to learn a different way. I am choosing to praise God for who I am, what I have done, and what I am doing with my life.

I am not perfect. I am not always a committed follower of Christ. Especially in the past few months I have felt extremley far from God. Yet, today I praise him for the goodness in my own being. I choose to praise him for my imperfections and strengths. God is in me. God is moving in my heart, mind, soul,and strength. God is humbling me and for that I am thankful. I am choosing to praise God with how I talk and walk. I am choosing to praise God in the fact that I want to be a friend to the people who are alone.

I am having such a difficult time with myself alone that I am motivated to spend time with everyone and any kind of person. God wants to use me and for that I praise him. Even though at times I felt alone I praise him. God is doing a good work in me and I pray this has been an encouragement to you.

On the edge

2008-11-06T07:46:00.000-08:00

Life can be difficult and since my post about the wilderness I have been moved to write again.
In the past few months I have lost touch at times with my God. In the wilderness trek I was not only was lost from God, but I felt lost from a Christian community. I felt extremely alone. I was distance from the world I new and loved.

In West Africa, where I lived this summer, I become upset at times when looking at the poverty of the world and I questioned how God could allow this to happen. I read a book while being in this state of mind called The End of Poverty and it made me realize I am at fault for the current condition. I am a extremely rich American who has become distance from the suffering in the world. I felt ashamed for giving God so much grief and I started to mourn from my sins.

I came back from West Africa in the middle of July only to find out that I had put to much stock in a relationship and I realized that what I know was a done deal, was in fact a closed deal. Also it was a closed door and I lost one of my best friends. I started to mourn again, because of the truths in my life. I then moved to Memphis, TN alone and sacred.

Now possibly my title makes sense for some of you guys. I have come a long way. I have gone from Mo's (Midnight Oil) to Memphis, TN. In the past few months God has taught me amazing lessons. I have grown in this wilderness period and even though I may still be in wilderness I believe I am finally on the outskirts of it at least.

God often teaches me when I am on the edge, when I think life could not get any worse. God is the best teacher in my life and even at times of wilderness, suffering, and pain God has been there for me. In the past months, I have cried on my bed reading my Bible. In the past months, I have cried when saying goodbye to old friends who our praying for me. In the past months, I have cried at the death of people in my life. In the past months, I have cried because God is so good. Even, on the edge God provides.

God has given me friends in Memphis. God has given me amazing teachers and classes in Memphis. God has given me a job in the community in Memphis. God has given me a Christian community in Memphis. God also has shown me my faults and sins while being in Memphis and for the that especially I am grateful. God has answers so many of my prayers and I just pray God answers yours. Whatever is going on in your life, my prayer is you allow God to teach you through difficult and trying times.

Wandering Jew

2008-08-07T14:34:00.000-07:00

Time is an amazing concept. For example, time sometimes goes by quick, but it seems other times time goes by so slow. Yet, we all know these are just feelings and emotions we have about time. The real answer is time is always constant and never changing speeds.

A few months ago I sat in Midnight Oil and wrote about my life. Now here I sit again, sitting in the same chair, at the same place, in the same city, and I write about my life. Searcy, Arkansas is not my favorite place on Earth, it's pretty dull with little resources to our American perspective. However, I have spent 2 months in Africa this summer and to me now Searcy has many resources that most Africans could only dream of.

A few months ago I was dating the girl of my dreams and I was in live. Now it seems I wasn't and as I look back on it I feel foolish because I really thought I knew what love looked like and felt like and was. Now I'm single and I'm learning that time changes, not only perspectives, but it appears it changing people's feelings and thoughts, too. Now I guess I already knew that time changed people, if I look at myself a few years ago, heck a few months ago, I realize that I have changed.

I know what it's like to be completely alone. I know a few words today that I didn't know a feel months ago. I know what's it's like to feel broken, and totally embarrassed of the actions I have taken.

A few months I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life. Now I'm not quite sure. I had a plan to move to the states and spread the Gospel and be a preacher. Now I'm not sure if I have the tools to do that, or if I even want to. I'm changing and growing constantly daily and respectfully.

Recently a friend told me "You are going time of wilderness."

What does the wilderness look like? I'm not quite sure, yet. But I do know that the Israelites learned to be totally dependent on God during this period. They had to only gather food for one day at a time. They did not even know what they were eating, either. They really were clueless and just walked around. It's like they were in an airport and had no flights anywhere. They just watched everyone else board planes and go somewhere, while they wandered around. They were in the desert with little water and little to carry, because they had nothing. All they had were the clothes on their back and God on their side, who they were anger at.

Maybe this is me? I'm a wandering Jew trying to depend on God daily. I have only what I need to survive and God is the one who gives it to me, yet I couldn't tell you what I was eating, I just know I'm living if I eat it and I'm dead if I don't. All I know is God is on my side, yet I complain at him for how my life is going right now. I don't want to wander. I want to go back to past, the way things were.

Yet, God doesn't give answers to the Israelites and just tells them obey me and move on.

Maybe this is me?

Attitude

2008-07-13T01:43:00.000-07:00

As I was on Safari the past two days I saw Elephants charge my car. I saw monkeys swing in trees. I saw the beauty of Water Bucks and other animals. I was amazed at God's creation. Then I had an epiphany: God does not need credit for his work what he needs is for me to be HOPEFUL for his world.

I saw hope in the eyes of his people while I have been in Africa. I saw hope in the eyes of my friends as I hear them discuss their future dreams for Africa. And as I read and viewed pictures of my friends tonight I felt HOPE as an underlining feeling as I read their words.

In our circles of American Christianity I hear a lot of talk about the “fallen” world. I hear talk of the world being “evil”. I hear people say the human race is full of “sin” and “evil”. Yet, I do not believe God made an “evil” world. I do not believe the world is “fallen”. We live in the world that God created. I believe God created a world full of choices. Is our world “broken”? Yes. Did God create it this way? Many will say “NO”, God made a perfect world and then man came along and messed it up with his “sin” or “falleness”. However, this holds for me a situation in which our creator God is not wise enough to anticipate that sometimes “man” who produce a choice that he might not desire. This is a very low view of God, because we do not give him the benefit of the doubt that he could accurately predict what his creation might or might not do.

What is my point?

My point is God made the world with a certain level of uncertainty. He made the world where choice is apparent in every aspect. God created a world that gave man an ability to love him or not love him. He created a world that gave man freely the right to choose to obey or not obey. God’s world is broken, but it’s a broken world by design. If the world was not broken then how would God know what to do with man. Man’s opportunity everyday is to enter into a world of broken into which he (by design) is able to choose to help or hurt the world. The world is not fallen. The world is just as God designed it. God designed it to have people run the world. He gives each person the chance to help or hurt the world. If we can not recognize this ability sadly we have lost the essence of life.

Life is meant to be lived out here on earth. We must accept the responsibility that God gave to man. God designed us to take care of his creation. Are we doing a good enough job? Well that is a question worth asking? What should be our position be as we look at the world?

The world is full of skeptics. Many believe our world is a horrible place run by evil. Many Christians believe our world in fact is a place where Satan rules. Is this what our thoughts should be? Is this how Christians should look at the world? Well that is for you to decide. As for me I believe in an attitude that reflects the character of God. I will believe in the God that created me and told me to take care of his creation. God created me to change the world by my actions through his commandments and teaching. God created me to be…

HOPEFUL.

This is my emotion right now. I want to be a man that shows the world HOPE. I want to be HOPE to my friends. In a land where God is not known I pray Christians can give them HOPE. Whether I’m in America or Africa or Mali I must be HOPEFUL.

QUESTION:

If Christians can't provide hope for this world, then who will?

Credit

2008-07-09T14:35:00.000-07:00

I have been extremely moved by being here in Africa. I feel completely out of America. As I flip through Facebooks and blogs and websites of my friends tonight I developed a pain as I read the events going on in people's lives around me, yet not around me at all. I have to say I do not know who all reads this blog but I'm impressed by many of my friends right now. I want to be will all my friends tonight. I want to call you guys but I can't. Man it's crazy how disconnected I am from my best friends and family.

Yet, at the same time I feel extremely hopeful for the future. My life is full of people that always encourage me. I had solid friendships all around the world and for that I am motivated to keep embracing the experiences happening right here in Kara.

Being here in Kara, Togo has been amazing as I have grown to see how God is moving among the Kabiye people. I recently came back form a 10 day survey trip to Mali in a land where people need God. Jesus' name is now know in these parts and I it brings me to tears to think about that. Jesus is just a random phase to them. I long for them to hear the gospel and I wonder who will deliver the message to them. It's so sad that some live without God.

Without God I wouldn't be in Togo and I wouldn't know the people I know.

Without God who gets all the credit for all this beautiful creation?

Without God, how to people live and breath and have their being? Yet, God is so hopeful.

I look at this world and I just see that God made me to give this world life. God made me to take care of his beauty. This is displayed by how I treat his earth and how I treat his people. God believes in me and God gives me the power to do his work on earth, yet who do I give the credit to? Is it for me or him?

I'm extremely scatter brained right now because God has been placing so much on my heart.
Basically, everywhere I look I see God and it's so sad that I met people that didn't even know who God was. They are people who I met and talked with and they had no idea who I was and all I told them was I am a Christian. They know me as a Christian, that is my identity.

(Do my friends know this when they see me? Do I proclaim my Christianity to them?)

I know some do. I know some don't.

When they see me do something for them do they give credit to God for how rich I am or do they give credit to me?

This is a scary thought but I feel such a struggle. Man is to be glorying God constantly and I know I do not always do this but I really pray that I am able to honestly look at people and serve them for God not myself. Yet, how do I do this? If I can't speak their language and their culture.

Still I press on knowing that "to God be the glory in all things". I'm fortunate to be able to serve God's people in Africa and I will continue to HOPE in the future for all these nations.

Bonding

2008-06-22T16:14:00.000-07:00

As I write to you tonight from my laptop I have to admit I feel a little different. The past three nights I have slept on a floor that is surrounded by a mud hut and lived with Da Jah and his family. Da Jah did not speak English and I did not speak Kabiye, his local language, but the strange thing is we still grew close and become friends. I was impressed with his work ethic and his level I commitment to God. He is a Christian and I am a Christian and we would read together, sort of. I mean neither of us can speak a common language but we would open our Bibles and point out similar phases such as Jesus, God, and love. It took a lot of work talking with him and I was exhausted after the weekend but man it was worth every minute of it. I saw how he studied Eso Tom (God's word) and how he met with his neighbors to share his life and his message of belief: Jesus died on the cross for our sins. He would pray with his family every night. He had a son whom I formed a friendship with by talking and hiking and teaching English to him. It was special to be with Christians in Togo for me because I knew that we shared the share God even though we were vastly different in how we live and what we eat but still we are humans and humans can all relate.

Now I see how important it is to have a common language and I'm so blessed to be able to go home and share the message of Christ to the people I will live with in the future. I'm motivated to talk after spending three days not being able to. It was so impressive to see this guy work and work for God. On Sunday I had the chance to go to church with him and see him preach and teach. It was amazing. We took the Lord's supper and I even said the closing prayer. Also I gave a small coin and it was all I had. It was about 50 cents and yet that was the most that anyone gave. I felt odd because I didn't expect this. I thought this is just one coin, it means nothing to me, yet this coin will go far in a village that Da Jah lived in.

I'm so richly blessed to be alive and God is continuing to teach me here in Africa.

Four Virtues

2008-06-06T16:36:00.000-07:00

Africa has changed for me. I have established some familiar faces in this place now. I understand the Kabiye people slightly more. I do not feel as lost in the city of Kara anymore. I have experience the culture a little more. My comfort level is higher than a week ago. Yet so far my experiences have not led me to believe that I want to spend the rest of my life here or outside in the nation-state that I grew up in. I have been motivated to apply the concepts I'm learned about missions to the states. The "Theology of Missions" means more to me now than it ever has in the past. How does my sense of mission impact how I live my life. David Bosch says that the "Mother of Theology is Mission". I can not state it any clearer then that. My life needs to be lived with a sense of purpose. My drive in the world comes from missions, purpose, and what author Malcolm calls "the stickiness factor".
In order for my drive to make an impact, my life must be lived with purpose that effects other people, yet my words and works must "stick" with that person. How I live needs to be effective. If I have no "stickiness" I will never be a true Christian or follower of Christ. Theology is only for people. I want to spend my time thinking and studying God in order to lead more to Christ through him. I believe Jesus was someone that a friend would want to "stick" to. I want to be a person that people want to be around with. I want to be a person who can be trusted and respect. I want therefore to live by four virtues that I believe display my current view of the Theology of Mission. I want these four virtues to drive my life. These virtues I believe Jesus always used and therefore it's the best theology I have thought of in years. Here they are.

1. Be Kind
2. Be Honest
3. Be Humble
4. Be Courageous

If I look at Christ's life he had purpose and a "stickiness factor" because he obeyed all these virtues. He would say it in different ways, as the Jews did. For example, "Love the LORD with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. Dr. Scott Peck would say a human must be "emotional/social, physical, spiritual, and mental/intellectual" do grow in all areas of life. Each person must choose for his own on what type of person they want to be. I want to be a person of Christ and I believe this four virtues add to my perspective on how I want to be in life.

Each day I will check myself by asking myself "Did I live out my theology today?".

Was I kind? Was I honest? Was I humble? Was I a man of courage?

Today I fell a bit backward, but tomorrow I pray will be different.

"Love can't change the past, but it can lead to a different future." - Gary Chapman

I want to be a man of the future and the future is now. I want God to change lives through me and this must start with God changing me.

A Little Off

2008-05-30T17:21:00.000-07:00

Africa has not been exactly what I thought it would be. I am staying in a house that is nicer than mine at home, yet I live in a city far different from Oshkosh, Searcy, or Jacksonville. The place that I'm staying at is truly wonderful, however, not just because I have a toilet, shower, and bed, though they are a blessing that I'm grateful for, but more so I'm blessed because of the people that live in the house.
I have had the experience of going to a village, learning some Kabiye (local dialect), climbing mountains, and meeting new people. I have never been more grateful for the resources I have in the states. We are so rich, physically. We are rich in medicine, shelter, clothing, and food. Yet in Kara I feel like they are rich in ones way that we are not. They are rich in relationships, because they actually have a community that communicates. Many neighborhoods in America have lost a sense of community. The Kabiye people eat as a community and garden as a community. They understand how to work together and that is powerful.
Relationships are greater than accomplishments. This a concept that I have always believed in, yet in Kara, Togo I am truly learning this. The power went out at my house yesterday night and the six of us in the dark room had a meaningful conversation and I loved it. Too many times I have lost the ability to talk with people that I do not know very well. However, starting this point in my life I want to take time to get to know more people deeply. When I have conversations i always try to look people in the eye. I want to truly care about all people, not just the ones like me. The children and and people in Togo have such big smiles and kind words. They want you to embrace them and love them, as they do to me. I pray I can continue to learn as I meet more and more people of God.

Watsing Time

2008-05-24T15:10:00.000-07:00

I'm waiting, waiting,waiting.

In a matter of days I will take the trip of a lifetime. Now a few years ago I went to Greece for three months and it was amazing, it was a trip of a lifetime as well, but I have to say I am more excited about my trip to Africa then the previous one. I have been wanting to travel overseas every since I came back. This trip will be even more of a challenge than the Greece trip for many reasons.

1. I will be away from indoor pumping, for the majority of the trip. (yeah, sweet huh?)
2. I do not speak the culture of Togo, Africa. (I am an American)
3. I do not know French. (the language of Togo)
4. It's close to the equator. (I'm a white boy from Oshkosh, Wisconsin)
5. I have a high chance of getting a terrible disease (but I did get my shots)
6. I will be away from family,friends, and of course, Mallory Barcus.

Yet, this will be an extremely rewarding experience and am blessed to have the ability to go to TOGO. I'm grateful for the God I serve. He will teach me as I continue my journey, called life.

being right

2008-05-16T19:28:00.000-07:00

As I was visiting with Grandpa Frazier tonight I was moved by his smile,laughter, and overall manor. He was filled with joy. He was so kind to the people around him. He did ever make a rude comment or gesture even though he disagreed with what was being done to him. He was being forced to do something he did not want to do. He did not need help, in his opinion. Yet, he was obedient and submission. He had an attitude of humility even though he did not want to. This attitude is lost to many of us. We often have people in our life that understand what we are growing through better than ourselves. My grandpa did not want to admit that others around him knew better than he. Unfortunately, most of us do not take up my grandfather's attitude. Most of us, myself included, do not want to admit we do not know the answers. We do not want to admit we are inadequate. People do need to be more submission, even if we think we have all the answers, we must be willing to accept the fact that we could be wrong.

When situations come in life, often it's the attitude,motive, and actions that determine the outcome. Now ideas and words do matter, but to use an old saying "it's not what you say sometimes, it's how you say." We need to have a opinion of submission in all things. We need to have adapt an attitude of humility, because this is the way mankind was meant to live. Mankind was created, I believe, by a being smarter,wiser,stronger than himself. Now being the lesser is difficult at times, but having the attitude of a lesser is the way God lived, when he was he on Earth. He did not "consider equality with holiness a power to be grasped, but took the attitude of humility, being in the very nature a servant" (Phil. 2). I believe this is how we should live as humans on this earth.

Being right, is not the point of life. Getting our way is not the point in life. Life is not about me, it's about "we". I truly believe that my attitude of not wanting my way has increased my days of living on this earth. I am not overly concerned about getting my way, because I do not care. I really have enjoyed life a lot more when I am not concerned about my wants all the times. Sometimes just being humble and giving up my pride goes a long way. I would not have the relationships I have today if I did not give up and let people do what they want sometimes. We must be willing to sacrifice to truly have a life worth living. Until we learn this, I'm convinced we'll be unsatisfied and stressed.

Take a page from my grandpa and simple let the other person have their way and just be joyful to live. Joy can go a long way. Humility can go a long way. I have always found that it's more blessed to give than receive so be blessed and give of your time, and your right to always be right.

connectors

2008-05-14T20:40:00.001-07:00

As I continue to read Malcolm Gladwell's The Tipping Point I am inspired. The chapter I read today discussed connectors, who are people that bring people together. I was educated on how people really are connected to each other. Malcolm shares a story of how a friend conducted an experience of sending an individual letter to 160 people in Omaha,Nebraska and told them to send them as close as they could to a stockbroker in Boston,Massachusetts. Through the story it turns out that 24 of the letters made the trek all the way and the letters all were given by three common individuals- Mr.Jones, Mr. Brown, Mr. Jacobs. Gladwell calls this the "law of the few".

He conducts tests like this all over America, but he has come to find that some people have a knack for remember people and knowing people. He discusses how "connectors" remember names better and longer. He tells of how some people just know everyone. He runs tests of a list of last names and sometimes the "connectors" can match the names, of faces, of up to 90%. Some people just are amazing with people. It's as if they were designed to meet and greet. As if something within them focuses them to be a people-person and to love all kinds of people, know matter what social class they are in.

This a talent that few people have, but I believe this is probably one of my talents. As I think about my life I have fell in love with all types of people. I am impressed by the white and blue collars of the world. I'm interested in discovering all types of new environments, cultures, and ideas. I have traveled all across this nation and to other nations, such as Israel, Turkey, Egypt, Greece, Italy, and Austria. I am about to live in Togo, Africa and visit Morocco. I feel like I was built to connect people. I have worked job that travel all over the states and spent time in all parts of the world. I love people whatever I go.

Now, I write this, because I want us to all be "connectors" if we are Christians. Christians and all humans, are meant to be relational and to be all about the people. After graduating from Harding I realized that I have left a large group of friends,professors, and family that I will miss dearly, yet I am excited to continue to meet and greet new faces. God has created me to be all about people; my prayer is all people will learn to value relationships as I have come to value them and ultimately as God has created us to value them.

As much as

2008-05-13T18:22:00.000-07:00

Confidence in yourself is a must-have.

I see the ads on TV for “must-have” items and they usually are for some knife that cuts through a shoe and I mean you got to have that. How could you live without a knife that can cut through a shoe? A “must-have” item in life is confidence in you. Without confidence in you, you die or at least you walk around dead. When I say “dead” I mean you have no real way of happiness or joy. However, I used to view this philosophy of walking “joyfully” as a worldly answer. I should not live for joy. I should have live to please my own happiness. However, I picked up my Bible the other night and I was reading Philippians and Paul said something like this “take care of others AS MUCH AS yourself...” Wait a minute?

Paul is saying I must take care of myself. That is lost in my philosophy. Part of taking care of me is having confidence. I “must-have” confidence in myself or I will not be about to take care of others. If I’m here to serve God and others, THEN I must take care of myself first or AS MUCH AS. Science comes to mind when I heard an IF.THEN statement and life sometimes is as simple as science, math, equations, and formulas. I wish I could simple get this equation memorized. If I do not memorize this one, I will never LIVE. PERIOD.

MEMORIZE THIS EQUATION: CONFIDENCE = GOD LOVES YOU.

Now as I flip a few pages through my Bible I read in 1 Timothy “for God did not give us a timid heart”. I should not live in fear or insecurity. I turn to Hebrews to read this, “approach God’s throne with CONFIDENCE”. God wants us to come to him in confidence and God wants us to live with CONFIDENCE.

TO WALK WITH CONFIDENCE.

“to not be ashamed of the Gospel of Christ”.

Paul even says “I am nothing without Christ”. Paul says “I’m the worst of sinners”. I, too, am a sinner. However, I also hurt God when I live a timid life, when I live in fear of others, when I walk in shame, and when I live WITHOUT confidence in me.

When Peter walks out on the water he wants to be like Jesus. He is being a good disciple. A disciple “DOES WHAT THE RABBI DOES”. Peter is doing right. He walks on water as Jesus does. Then Peter sees the wind and waves and doubts HIMSELF. Jesus asks him “why did you doubt?” Jesus is saying PETER DON”T DOUBT YOURSELF I HAVE FAITH IN YOU. I love the fact we have faith in God, but guess what? God has faith in YOU and ME and US. God calls us to be his disciple and “DO WHAT HE DOES”.

THAT IS WHERE CONFIDENCE COMES FROM. Confidence comes from being a follower of Christ.

"FOR WE KNOW AND RELY ON THE LOVE GOD HAS FOR US." John 4:16

The last two weeks

2008-05-11T20:15:00.000-07:00

Tonight as I rest and relax in the comfort of my own home I am at peace. Recently, as in the past 24 hours, I have graduated from college and taken a 14 hour road trip home to visit my friends that helped mold me into the young man I am today. Life can be pretty overwhelming at times and as I sat through my graduating yesterday I hardly felt that it was real. I felt as if I was in a dream and I was going to wake up from it soon. The past two weeks have blur of packing for Africa, studying for final exams, and writing papers. Also during the past two weeks I said farewell to my best friends, who consist of professors, roommates, and family members. The weeks were exhausting and stressful, yet joyful and inspiring. I spent many hours researching the purposes for the Gospel of Mark, post-modernism, and Luke's view of reversal theology. This moments were stressful yet I was inspired by the lessons I learned as I wrote my thoughts down on paper. Also I felt a sense of joy as I walked across the stage to receiver my degree in the college of Bible and Religion from Harding University. I have loved my life to this point and everything in my past two weeks have been a summary of my life thus far. I have worked, studied, laughed, cried, and wrote my thoughts on paper, to be read by friends in my life. Now it so happens that the past two weeks I have been working on writing the story of the end of my college life. Some say the college years are the "best years of your life", but I sorely disagree. I have only just begun my story and I will continue to write my story as I travel to Togo, Africa this summer and then start graduate school in the fall in Memphis, Tennessee. I have to embrace by new experiences lately, such as graduating college and saying goodbye to my extremely cute girlfriend, and I have many new experiences to look forward to, such as graduate school and interning in Africa. Yet, life is constantly moving and I can't wait to keep writing my story.