On the edge

Life can be difficult and since my post about the wilderness I have been moved to write again.
In the past few months I have lost touch at times with my God. In the wilderness trek I was not only was lost from God, but I felt lost from a Christian community. I felt extremely alone. I was distance from the world I new and loved.

In West Africa, where I lived this summer, I become upset at times when looking at the poverty of the world and I questioned how God could allow this to happen. I read a book while being in this state of mind called The End of Poverty and it made me realize I am at fault for the current condition. I am a extremely rich American who has become distance from the suffering in the world. I felt ashamed for giving God so much grief and I started to mourn from my sins.

I came back from West Africa in the middle of July only to find out that I had put to much stock in a relationship and I realized that what I know was a done deal, was in fact a closed deal. Also it was a closed door and I lost one of my best friends. I started to mourn again, because of the truths in my life. I then moved to Memphis, TN alone and sacred.

Now possibly my title makes sense for some of you guys. I have come a long way. I have gone from Mo's (Midnight Oil) to Memphis, TN. In the past few months God has taught me amazing lessons. I have grown in this wilderness period and even though I may still be in wilderness I believe I am finally on the outskirts of it at least.

God often teaches me when I am on the edge, when I think life could not get any worse. God is the best teacher in my life and even at times of wilderness, suffering, and pain God has been there for me. In the past months, I have cried on my bed reading my Bible. In the past months, I have cried when saying goodbye to old friends who our praying for me. In the past months, I have cried at the death of people in my life. In the past months, I have cried because God is so good. Even, on the edge God provides.

God has given me friends in Memphis. God has given me amazing teachers and classes in Memphis. God has given me a job in the community in Memphis. God has given me a Christian community in Memphis. God also has shown me my faults and sins while being in Memphis and for the that especially I am grateful. God has answers so many of my prayers and I just pray God answers yours. Whatever is going on in your life, my prayer is you allow God to teach you through difficult and trying times.